I am outraged. Appalled. Upset even.
In the midst of the Winter Olympic Games, when American pride runs high, I am horrified by a recent decision made by someone who obviously doesn’t understand American culture.
Information was released Wednesday that said the Dome Dog, a staple for anyone at a Minnesota Twins game, will cease to exist. Hormel has sold hot dogs at the Twins games for a long time, but now states the company decided to stop providing hot dogs after reviewing the change in cost for sponsorships at the new stadium.
But, hey, no need to worry. After all, we can still go to a game and get a steak sandwich or walleye on a stick. (Read that with heavy sarcasm inflection.)
What! Back up the train here, people!
Hormel, a Minnesota-based company, and the Twins and Target Field people can’t come to an agreement on how much money everyone should pass around, so little kids at a baseball game won’t be able to get a hot dog?
Picture this — a young lad (or lassie), clad in his bright white Twins t-shirt bought especially for his first game, wearing a bright blue or red Twins ball cap, eyes aglow at the excitement of seeing that bright green field in person for the first time. On his lap is a ball glove in case a fly ball heads his way, and clenched in his fist is a Dome Dog. A bit of ketchup is smeared on his cheek and a splop of mustard is startlingly yellow on his white shirt.
Oh, wait. Rewind. Picture the little boy, but replace the hot dog with…walleye?
I think not! Who the heck is running the show over there? Hot dogs at a baseball game are a requirement!
Next thing you know, the peanut people will get bucky and the Cracker Jacks people will cause an uproar, getting all demanding and snarky.
This is downright un-American. Work it out, people in charge. The news article states you parted amicably, but if you are both so darned amicable, why can’t you get along enough to work this out and give Minnesota Twins fans what they deserve?
I say we form a group, and split down the middle. One half can march to the stadium, the other to the Hormel plant in Austin. And all of them should be singing loudly in unison, in voices that carry over the land and into each and every corporate office involved in this debacle:
"Now that you are at the game, are you in the Hormel Row of Fame? If you’re in a lucky seat, you’ll win a Hormel hot dog treat. Great for lunch, great for dinner, you could be a wiener winner, in the Hormel Row of Fame!"
Sing it out, people. This is serious business.