Kids or dogs?

My friend Beth laughed at me when I walked into the newsroom the other day and announced I should have raised dogs instead of kids. Because she’s met my kids and knows how they are, she immediately asked what was up and settled back to hear a Wettschreck tale. Believe, me, she’s heard some doozies in the past.

This time was nothing huge, just normal, everyday stuff.  My youngest son accidentally claimed to be a ward of the court or something like that on his FAFSA paperwork, my daughter woke up crabby and felt the need to text message me about it for a while and the middle kid was having some kind of problem with insurance and wanted to know what he was supposed to do about it.

The dog, however, harrumphed a little bit when I called his name this morning, then patiently stood while I put his collar on him and headed outside for the day without giving me any lip.

So, let’s think about this. Would you rather raise kids or dogs?

Both occasionally piddle on the floor when they’re young, bite someone or chew on something they shouldn’t, and are cute whenthey’re sleeping. Both are tough to teach to drive. Both are easier to tolerate with a sense of humor. Both should be kept out of crowded malls unless they are there in a service capacity.

Dogs generally don’t talk back, but kids generally don’t dig in the garbage after everyone goes to bed.

Neither will weed the garden with any amount of enthusiasm. The dog, however, will keep the bunnies out.

The dog has never made me a macaroni necklace or homemade Mother’s Day card, but he’s never asked me for money, either.

Both have stepped on my feet — neither has seemed to notice.

The dog is thrilled every time I pull into the driveway and thinks I’m magic because a light comes on when I enter a room. The dog doesn’t care if we own the latest and greatest computers, video systems or phones.

The dog doesn’t have a job, and the possibility that he’ll get rich someday and buy me a new house is slim. I don’t have to get up and open the door every time a kid wants in or out of the house.

Both lean on me when they’re feeling a bit lonely or sad.

OK, I’ll admit it. I need both kids and dogs. Both occasionally make me crazy, but both make me laugh, too.

Think about this, mothers, as you head into the latest Mother’s Day. I wish you all a day full of macaroni necklaces, questionably cooked breakfast in bed and phone calls from kids who have had the audacity to leave home.