Where have I been?

I signed into my blog the other day and was quite startled to see a row of aliens, icky-looking ones, marching across the top of the page and asking my age. They wanted to sell me insurance. I really don’t have anything against ET-looking aliens and don’t mind admitting my age. But I draw the line when they start trying to sell me insurance.

Still, it was a relief from the sombreros.

I’m sure many of you Internet users have noticed personalized ads on websites you visit. I don’t know how the technology works, but my computer knows where I’ve been. Something about Big Brother and 1984?

I’m not sure what I did to inspire the aliens, because I don’t need insurance at the moment, but I have been bombarded with sombreros since my husband Eric began his search.

We’re going to the Hot Spot Outdoors Sturgeon Excursion in April, and someone decided this year the theme should be silly hats. Normally a fishing theme would just be tall tales and straight-out lies, but we like to add a bit of adventure. Last year’s unplanned theme were snowball fights from boat to boat – a new experience for me – and trying to avoid blizzard conditions out on Lake of the Woods. All things considered, I’d rather have a planned theme and give up my strange attempts of last year to make the best out of a bad situation by starting snowball fights and building snowmen on the gunwales.

Gunwales… that is what they call the side of the boat right? I wonder why that is. I could be wrong. I still don’t have the whole starboard and port thing down. After 10 years as a Navy wife, that’s kind of pathetic, I’ll admit.

Anyway (wow, hard to believe I digressed), Eric wants to wear a sombrero for the silly hat theme. Not just any sombrero. He wants a great big, huge, monstrosity of a sombrero. He has plans for jazzing one up that involve miniature leg lamp lights and other stuff I won’t go into, less I get sidetracked again.

So he’s been searching the Internet for big sombreros, with disappointing results. All of them we have found are abut the same size. Just your basic sombrero. He’s looking for big. Not just big, but BIG!

We’ve been Googling and Ebaying and Amazoning and searching away. I am decidedly sad with the results. I thought you could find anything, especially for purchase, on the Internet.

The result of all this searching has been the targeted ads. I go on Facebook, I get ads for sombreros. I go on Amazon, I get ads for sombreros. I even got ads for sombreros on the Daily Globe website the other day when I was looking at my own article.

Sadly, none of them are big, huge, wide sombreros. They are all just average sombreros. This bothers me, because I don’t have time to take up straw weaving and be proficient by April. I have other things going on.

In a strange way, it’s comforting to know that aliens and sombreros are the weirdest things I have to look at when the ads pop up on my Internet pages. It kind of makes me chuckle, because somewhere out there is a husband or wife wondering why a sexy blue smurf or scantily-clad Bieber or Cyrus has shown up on the ads on their pages.

Yeah, I got sombreros and insurance-selling aliens on mine.